We all receive them in our Inbox or Snail mail. Some too-good-to-believe FREE offer. Luxury cruise. Resort getaway. Just click on the link to register. No! Don’t do it- it’s SPAM.
This is what I assumed when I received an email in January from an organization called Wellspring. They offered an all-expenses-paid weekend in Oklahoma City at the Embassy Suites. Hum…
The email was very specific, listing who the weekend was for (adoptive, foster, special needs and autism parents), where it would be held, and what to expect. First, I researched the organization, then once I was assured Wellspring was legit, I clicked Yes. The next day, I received a confirmation.
If I still had any doubts, they were quickly eased. They communicated on a regular basis mostly through email but also mailed us a glossy pamphlet.
On the first weekend in April, Robert and I checked in at the hotel, wondering what we signed up for. Trust me, we had no idea how incredible the weekend would be.
As a fairly organized person, I appreciated how they ran the weekend like a machine. We checked in at the Wellspring table quickly, where they gave us a sturdy tote with a binder, notepad, pen, and name tag. We ate a buffet dinner and met fellow parents. They did an excellent job of encouraging connection, keeping us energized (and well fed), and inciting fun.
The next day after breakfast, we went out of the gate, learning about communication, attending a breakout session, and completing an assessment on marriage and on hope. (The single attendees completed an assessment about their wellbeing.)
Breakout and Informative Sessions:
Robert and I attended separate breakout sessions. He went to the Building Everyday Strategies to Support Better Regulated Behaviors (i.e. avoiding meltdowns). The instructor, an autism specialist and clinical professor, dived into tools to prevent meltdowns. Children with autism struggle with regulation and can have meltdowns when overly stimulated (meltdown are not the same as temper tantrums).
I stayed in the ballroom to learn about Building Stronger Bonds, especially through play. This is important when helping foster children who come into your home and don’t have healthy connections. The clinical professor shared about the four attachment styles and how “play” is a great way to build attachment.
We all came together to learn about the science of hope. Did you know OU has a Hope Research Center? Dr. Chan Hellman heads the department. He has a great TED talk on YouTube, and co-wrote a book called Hope Rising: How the Science of Hope can Change Your Life. (At one point in his childhood, he was homeless.)
After lunch, we learned and practiced communication tools:
- X, Y, Z statements: An effective tool when you want to communicate value or a need. You frame your statement in the following for specificity and clarity:
X is: The specific action or behavior,
Y is: Specific time the incident occurred,
Z is: What you felt.
For example, you could say to your child, “When you made your bed every day this week, I was proud of you.”
To your spouse: “When you made dinner last night when I was exhausted, I felt valued.”
When you’re specific about your praise or correction, you’re communicating value or a need to the recipient that’s easily understood.
After about a long afternoon break, we attended the evening gala. Robert and I dressed up, got our pics at the Magic Mirror station, and ate a delicious dinner. Here, a musician provided live entertainment, attendants won prizes, and we played a group game. (Our side lost, but Robert got one of the answers!)
Having fun at the Magic Mirror
After dinner, we joined a table playing Jenga.
Sunday delivered one of my most cherished sessions: The Round Table. They divided us the men and women. There were about thirty or forty in a room. At our round table, we women each shared: What we have been doing well lately. As I shared, I nearly cried as I opened up about how I’m doing better trusting God for our former foster child’s wellbeing.
This opened the discussion further as ladies shared encouragement, empathy, and empowering tips. After the session, one woman approached me, testifying how she was formerly a troubled foster child, and in a particular placement, the family demonstrated what love looked like. Even though she only lived with this family for eight months, the family made a lasting impact. Her words breathed hope into my heart, and made for a great conclusion for the weekend!
Learn more about Wellspring via their social accounts: Instagram or Facebook.