Today, I’m nestled in my upstairs office, thankful for electricity. It’s -7 here, historical lows for us in the south.
On the writing front, I missed my Feb. 15th beta reader deadline. I know, I’m unhappy about it. But I did manage to submit edits to an editing project I’m a part of, so now that I’ve met that obligation, I’m free to trudge through a round of edits before submitting my manuscript to beta readers. I’m thankful I have people who have volunteered to read my manuscript and offer feedback.
Wanting motivation to provide the manuscript to these beta readers, my revised deadline is Feb. 25th. I can do this! Seriously, because now, most of my work is filling in the edits I made manually on the printed manuscript.
I’m doing research about showing emotions more than telling especially in romance where characters are vulnerable and laden with a spectrum of feelings. We rely on creating sensory and descriptive experiences over exposition for our readers. Let them grasp the depth and meaning of our characters’ feelings and experiences.
One of my favorite books that unfolds a character’s feelings through showing is Persuasion by Jane Austen. I appreciate the quiet unfolding of Captain Wentworth, especially as we experience his journey from jaded ex-fiance having a bitter reunion, becoming indifferent and comfortable in her presence, to renewed appreciation, and finally enlightenment. Captain Wentworth’s nuances and feelings are exposed slowly as he unthaws and uncovers his heart toward Anne Elliott after reuniting eight-and-a-half-years later.
Persuasion is a study in using tools to show not tell characters’ feelings, especially of love.
- Metaphors. Both Anne and Captain Wentworth use metaphors such as Lyme and literature to expose their true feelings. Captain Wentworth uses the love between Benwick and Fanny Harville as a metaphor for what he thinks about Anne and their love. “I regard Louisa Musgrove as a very amiable sweet-tempered girl, and not deficient in understanding….Fanny Harville was a very superior creature, and his attachment to her was indeed attachment. A man does not recover from such a devotion of the heart to such woman! He ought not,–he does not.” [The movie version captures this speech well as I’m enraptured by the explosion of feeling ready to explode underneath her muslin dress and his gentleman’s suit.]
- Actions: Captain Wentworth’s feelings toward Anne are slowly exposed through the novel as his admiration grows.
- At first, he’s very cold and indifferent: “She did not wish for more of such looks and speeches. His cold politeness, his ceremonious grace, were worse than anything.”
- But he gradually softens in her presence, reminding him of the traits he fell in love with. While Anne, Wentworth, the Musgrove sisters, Mary and Charles Musgrove take a long walk, they intersect with Admiral Croft and his wife Sophia, (Wentworth’s sister), along the way. He whispers to his sister to give Anne a ride home on their carriage. Even when Anne kindly refuses the ride, he leads her into their carriage and helps her up. He still is sensitive to her physical weariness despite his bitterness.
- He has the awakening of his thawed heart in Lyme. He sees the superiority of Anne’s sagaciousness, compassion, and intelligence. When returning to the Musgroves, he asks for Anne’s advice and approval of a plan to break the news of Louisa’s accident to her parents. “I have been considering what we had best do. She [Henrietta, Louisa’s sister] must not appear at first. She could not stand it. I have been thinking whether you had not better remain in the carriage with her, while I go in and break it to Mr. and Mrs. Musgrove. Do you think this is a good plan?”
- He follows her to Bath and shows more interest. Making advances at the concert, leaving in jealous haste at the function because of her closeness with William Elliott, then, of course, he writes the letter.
- Indirect dialogue: In Persuasion, when Anne and Captain Wentworth see each other after their long separation, we don’t know what he thinks of her except through witnesses.
- When asked what he thinks of seeing Anne again (no one knowing of their broken engagement), he casually describes her as “…so altered that he should not have known her again.”
- He acknowledges his openness for her when deliberating with Charles about Louisa’s care after the unfortunate accident. “But if Anne will stay, no one so proper, so capable as Anne!” Jane Austen is loading this short dialogue with much punch. Back then, using first names is a show of intimacy for your closest loved ones and friends. Interesting that he makes this speech in front of her. Hum…
- Sensory descriptions: Through Anne Elliott’s physical transformation, we experience Wentworth’s transformation of his heart. When Captain Wentworth reunites after their separation, Anne is described as having lost her beauty, youthfulness, and spirits. She is still mourning love lost as she shuts herself in her family’s manor at Kellynch. But through time, as she moves to live with her sister at Uppercross and exposed to the gaiety of the Musgroves, of Wentworth and his sister and brother-in-law, the Crofts, she opens up. But nothing like at Lyme and Bath where Wentworth’s admiration for her grows. Here, she’s described as, “looking remarkably well; her very regular, very pretty features having the bloom and freshness of youth restored by the fine wind…and by the animation of the eye which it had also produced.”
Of course, the final revelation occurs while Wentworth is writing a letter. He overhears Captain Harville and Anne discussing the lost love between Captain Benwick and Fanny Harville. Anne shares delicately her heart when she says referring to woman, “…is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone.” Captain Wentworth finally understands that she still loves him even though, she assumes all hope is lost on his part.
How can you not enjoy these hints they drop to each other because they’re unsure how the other feels? They’re carefully dipping their toes in the ocean to see if it’s warm enough for swimming. But Captain Wentworth wants to get fully immersed, discontent with guessing, wondering, and playing games. He boldly writes Anne a declaration letter, that allows us as readers to finally experience the deep-seated passion running underneath his calm, cool exterior:
- “you pierce my soul”
- “precious feelings”
- “you almost broke it [his heart] eight years and a half ago…”
- “I have loved none but you.”
- “unjust I may have been, weak and resentful…but never inconstant.”
Awe, I’m dancing in the joy of restored love between this couple.
Now, it’s your turn to apply these tools.
Exercise:
Show interaction between two love interests without exposition, but using (at least) one of the above tools to reveal their feelings for each other. Please share in the Comments below. Thank you.
Featured Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay