“Whoever gives an honest answer kisses the lips” Proverbs 24:26 ESV.
Ever received a review, critique, or feedback that stung, but you told yourself, “It didn’t? And you don’t care.” Yet, day after day, the critique hangs around like a squatter living in your rental property. And no matter how hard you try to kick the squatter out, they won’t leave.
Part of being vulnerable is being honest with yourself. Now that you’ve shared, you feel exposed. It’s tempting to soothe ourselves in denial. But the problem is, as you’re masking the truth, the effect of the review will hit you later. Your body doesn’t lie. Any emotional force you feel about the critique will continue to burrow in your body with negative ramifications like shame, doubt, or rejection if you don’t acknowledge it.
Maybe a mild panic attack if you continue to deflect all your emotions when you receive critiques or reviews. Or maybe writer’s block if you fail to acknowledge the pain. Or eroding confidence as the negative reviews mount as you fail to admit they bother you.
For example, someone submits a two-star review about your book on Amazon. The review says: “Book had a great plot, but the characters weren’t believable but felt like romance tropes. Swash-buckling hero with bulging muscles, the damsel-in-distress heroine with a supermodel figure. Of course, the minor characters’ sole existence is to make the hero and heroine look good. The villain was predictably evil in a cartoonish way that I laughed not feared this character. This is book one of a trilogy, so I’m getting off this train instead of staying for the full series.”
Since you’ve already received 50 reviews with four and five-stars, and this was the only two-star review, you tell yourself and others, “They were just in a foul mood when they wrote that review. Doubt they finished the book. So, what they said doesn’t bother me.”
But in private, this review is haunting you as it echoes in the hallways of your mind as you lay in bed, when you wake up, and as you’re writing the next book in the series. Eventually, it chases away your confidence, and you’re now struggling with writer’s block.
However, what happens if you admit that review puts you in a tailspin? Admit you felt frustrated the reviewer didn’t appreciate your characters, ones you worked hard on, to ensure they wouldn’t feel like tropes? You provided depth to your characters, shared backstory, and showed their greatest desires. You labored to make your villain vulnerable.
You expose the sting the review had on you, then you can reframe it more productively in the light. By being honest, you are giving yourself a gift. You’re acknowledging what you’ve already felt, so it no longer has a hold on you in secret. And you are bravely facing the pain of the truth this critique might expose. Perhaps, you secretly felt that your characters need more work, but to hear it from someone else, feels like you’ve failed as a writer. Maybe you felt that everyone else can write deep characters, but you.
Acknowledging the pain, helps you to heal.
So, don’t hold back on how you felt. Journal in painstaking detail how you felt, even consider listing the specific emotions and physical reactions you experienced when you read or heard the critique.
Then share with someone what you felt about the critique. Confide in someone who’s empathic, and perhaps well acquainted with your work like a writer, editor, or reviewer. Let them shine a light on this critique. They might point out a blind spot you didn’t consider about the review. Or about your writing. Or about you.
(Maybe you discover this review wasn’t viable. I recommend you say out loud that the critique isn’t viable then move on. The reviewer misunderstood your characters. Or they were just trolling. Or your book and/or writing style isn’t their taste.)
Now, use this knowledge to your benefit. It doesn’t hurt to hone your craft. Even those on the top of their game continue to push the boundaries of their gifts, hoping to grow and improve. Using the example of the character trope review, you could:
- Ask someone to give you feedback on your characters. Where do they see holes or stereotypes?
- Talk to your characters, asking them if they’ve felt typecasted in their roles. Ask your villain what they’re most afraid of. Ask your heroine if she has dark secrets. Ask the hero what is his greatest weakness.
- Read a novel by an author who excels at developing realistic characters readers connect with. Study their technique. Maybe reach out to this author if possible to help you. See if they offer workshops. Or maybe, work with a peer who writes intriguing characters you like and ask them to give you tips or mentor you.
Through honestly evaluating a critique, you empower yourself to move on in a healthy way or make necessary changes to improve your craft. But the end benefit is helpful as a writer and a human, further reinforcing that sharing vulnerably is a necessary way to grow.
Here’s a PDF checklist to help you: Steps To Turn Critique into a Benefit.
How about you? What helps you to use negative critique for your benefit? Please share in Comment below. Thank you.
Featured Photo by Attentie Attentie on Unsplash