“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” Brene Brown.
Note: I thought I had published this blog on March 2nd but somehow I never went from Draft to Published. So, I kept writing the next blog and publishing them without sharing this one. Guess why March 9th’s How to Quiet the Critics blog that started with, “Did anyone conduct last week’s exercise?” didn’t make sense. At the bottom of this blog is that exercise I had done on Facebook Live the week of March 2nd. LOL! So, I am publishing the blog that was scheduled for March 2nd, today – enjoy! (And hopefully the other vulnerability posts make even more sense!)
Theme for March is vulnerability. We’ll cover topics about vulnerability and risk, culminating in you sharing more openly and freely.
Are you ready?
I’ll start right out the gate by being transparent about my beta reading progress. Two weeks ago, I confidently shared I’d have my manuscript ready for beta readers by Feb. 25th. I figured since I had already made edits on the printed manuscript, I’d just type these edits into Scrivener.
Cue the mournful music.
I didn’t. As I was editing, I was dissatisfied with my handling of a pivotal legal issue in the story. I had conducted some research but not enough to do the story justice. So I halted my editing and dove into the legal world. Fortunately, I found answers but they required changing a plot point and large chunks of dialogue. So, I’m in the process of making those changes. While I wish I could just tweak a few chapters, this is a slight overhaul.
But I’m trudging forward, determined to get this into beta readers’ hands by mid-March.
Back to you.
On a scale of one to ten, how vulnerable are you with sharing your stories?
Even if you’re published and taken that leap off the cliff to get published, are you continually pushing yourself to share more? Share a newly discovered technique you’re just learning or in process of mastering? Challenging yourself to push the literary boundaries?
I recently took a three-hour writing workshop. During the last quarter of the workshop, we dovetailed into a lengthy discussion on vulnerability. Even though the instructor has an MFA in fiction, published many essays and short stories, he still struggles with sharing his work.
I felt as though he jumped into my literary fox hole, joining me in the arduous fight against the enemy of “not enough.” But actually, we are all in the foxhole, struggling with sharing our work.
On a few occasions, I’ve considered just quitting and pursuing a different career. Mostly because I’ve listened to those voices in the night that taunt me, “Everyone knows you’re not cut out for writing. No matter how hard you learn craft, no matter how many hours you invest in writing, you’ll never become a great writer. No one will want to read your stories.”
On and on those voices of doubt, fear, and skepticism whisper in the dark alleyways of my mind. I entertained these voices in secret, afraid to tell anyone about my association with these sordid thoughts. But keeping these thoughts to myself only magnified their voices.
Then I finally quit fighting them alone and shared with others about the voices lying to me. As I opened up, these people offered truth, encouragement, and wisdom, disarming these voices.
Now, the light of truth helps me in these vulnerable moments of doubt. I remind myself that art is subjective and is a craft more than a science. Subjective helps me to accept that not everyone will approve or enjoy what I write. But I don’t write for them. I write to those who will.
Realizing it’s a craft helps me to have a mindset of excellence. I’m striving to learn, improve, and build upon what I’ve discovered as a writer (and a human). I give people my stories from a place of excellence, passion, hard work, and joy.
Not perfection. Perfection is a fastidious professor who never hands out A’s, but intentionally finds or creates mistakes because no one is perfect as he is. You can never be intelligent enough, wise enough, or talented enough, but he expects you to continue slaving for his approval.
So, step one of disarming the fear of vulnerability is sharing our fears with others. Here are two steps to apply this week to help you:
1.) Share with a trusted person, what is your deepest fear as a writer.
2.) Journal what you felt just before you shared, as you shared, and after you shared.
And I’d enjoy hearing your thoughts, experience, or feedback on this topic and this exercise. Thank you.
Featured Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay